catching and falling
When i peep through the bedroom doors and no one is there, i fall.
When i look out for the stars in the morning and they're not there, i fall.
Each time you cry, i fall.
When i learn that the earth is round after experiencing it flat, i fall.
When brittle leaves fall from the tree, i fall.
When you build a wall, i fall.
When you're on the other side, i fall.
If i have cramps, i fall.
After i discover that i’m not someone else, i fall.
When you stumble, i fall.
When the sun cracks the day, i fall.
If i forget my name, i fall.
When you don’t catch me, i fall.
Tender Genders
i feel
- i feel…
- sulky.
- i feel…
- confused.
- i feel…
- aloofness.
- i feel…
- neglected, frustrated, enraged…
- i feel enraged…
- Feverish and deserted…
- i feel deleted, lost.
- Washed out?
- i feel your chapter is being completed, without me.
- excluded?
- i feel i’m a forgotten footnote, unmentioned.
- remembered.
- i feel… i feed you… with language.
You make no reference to my being,
yesterday, last year or eight years ago.
- i feel…
- wordy.
- i feel your absence.
You’re imagined absence is there, everywhere and nowhere.
And I am real and I am here!
i'm sorry
i would have loved to have said, i’m sorry, before, but my tongue twisted.
i’m sorry for not having been sorry yesterday, the day before, last year.
i’m sorry for not being at the airport waiting for you on that stormy December evening.
i’m sorry for not telling you why i wasn’t there.
i’m sorry for not looking back at you after you went away.
i’m sorry for forgetting that your eyes are the colour of a sheer sky.
i’m sorry for not loving your pain away.
i’m sorry that your pain is living and i’m not giving...
i’m sorry for recalling those moments of shallow silence.
i’m sorry that i’m no longer mourning you.
i’m sorry that i’m sorry.
But i am sorry now.
